ahhh...

I have enjoyed this weekend. We haven't done much of anything and its been nice. We went and saw Shutter Island last night, yikes very creepy. This afternoon I'm going to walmart for some stuff. And then to Barnes and Noble for a couple hours or reading and chillin. I feel completely rested and over the bug that was going around. Which is great because tomorrow we are going snowshoeing all day! We are going even higher than usual and the weather is suppose to be beautiful. I will take my camera and upload some pics, the view up there is amazing.

Thats about it from me. Things are going great. I really needed this weekend to rest and refocus. I was starting to feel really stressed and lonely. Even though I have been doing great I started to listen to doubts and whispers from the enemy. But I am back on track now. And I am ready for a new week!

I really miss all you guys back home. I miss my dog too. And my own bed. But I know I am here for a reason, for a mission. And I will complete this mission before I come home.

Thanks for all the prayers and support. Thanks to those who sent mail. Its funny, I received the letters on my worst day here. I really needed to see something from someone who loves me that day, and poof! I had a stack of mail. It meant a lot to me.

Miss you all, but still rocking it out here!

Love,
big ken

drum roll please.......

So I am down for the count today with a bug. A few people here have been passing it around. But the good news is that yesterday I weighed in. And in addition to losing 10 inches, I also lost 10.8 pounds!!! That is awesome and I am really excited. I can actually feel my body changing. I am getting stronger and faster. The human body is an amazing machine. God is super creative. Since I have been here I have also lowered my resting heart rate by 18 beats per minute. Which means my heart isn't having to work as hard. And when it is working hard during workouts it is liking it.

Like I said I am sick today. I started running a fever last night and into the morning. But it is early afternoon now and I am already feeling better. My trainers ordered me to take the day off and recover. I am just anxious to get up tomorrow and hit it hard again! We are going hiking tomorrow up in the mountains. They spotted 2 mountain lions at the same spot a week ago. Everyone here is saying how they don't want to see them cause it would be dangerous. I totally want to see them and get close! I am starting to develop a zeal and excitement for life! I used to watch other people have adventures or read about it. I find myself pushing things harder and faster now. To live in fear is not to live at all. You just have to accept the fact that you will get hurt, bruised and possibly broken, but its a small price to pay to live!

I am going crazy sitting here in my room resting. This is the first time I have watched tv since I have been here. And its really boring!

I went for a short walk this morning a little before 7. And as the sun came up over the snowy mountain range it was so beautiful that I started to cry. Not a bad cry, just one of wonderment and joy. I had this thought that the same God that made those breathtaking mountains, and that awesome sun, the same God that made all those colors, that very same God made me in his image. And that he loved me over his other beautiful creations in nature. That thought was literally overwhelming. And I told God in that moment that I would never waste my life again. Because its really not my life. If I believe that I am indeed created in his image and that he does love me an unmeasurable amount. Then I also have to believe that he has plans for my life, that my life has to be about more than just myself. I have to believe that my life is valuable to him. And that he also he wants me enjoy this life and enjoy his other creations in nature.

Its crazy, I find myself totally changing. Not only physically, but my thought process as well. My desires for the future.

I don't know what God has planned for me, but I know and I trust that it is far better then anything I could dream up for myself. And that makes me smile : )

miss you all,
ken

Hello!

First things first. I am waiting till tomorrow to weigh. But they did my measurements this morning and I lost 10 inches total!! Its working! I lost 3 inches off my waist and 3 off my chest. Some off my legs. And I gained 3/4 of an inch on my biceps! So that is awesome. And even through all the pain and hurts I am feeling stronger.

Sorry for not posting anything for a couple days. Whew I cant believe how busy I am here. Last weekend was good. Went snowshoeing on Saturday. Amazing how difficult it was. It was powder which was up to my waist in most places. I was beat the rest of the weekend after that. The view weather was a little rough so the pics didnt turn out that great, dont worry we are going again this Thursday! I will take plenty of pics. Saturday night we all went to a movie and just chilled.

Sunday I found a cool little pentecostal church, it was amazing, just the worship I was looking for. Didn't know anyone there but felt totally connected into Gods community.

Was suppose to meet up with some friends I had made the previous week and do some snowboarding, but there were unable to make it. So I went by myself! It was awesome. Such a lower body workout, I still hurt from it! The weekend was very good. Had some slow quiet times also.

This week has been rough so far, starting with a minor foot injury yesterday which is starting to really piss me off! They thought it may have been a fracture even, but turns out it is just strained muscles. And now today that ankle is locking up on me. But I am working through it. Praise God that it isn't something that is going to slow me down. They have people here that stretch me before and after every workout. This week is rough because the workouts are getting more intense. I'm pushing myself as hard as I can though. And it always feels great after (even with the pain!)

We start every morning with 70 mins of intense weight training. And I mean intense, we all lay on the floor and pant and cry after, I'm not joking! Then we eat breakfast, take a break to stretch and cool off. Then onto cardio intervals for 70 mins. Which is where you alternate for 5 mins at a time. Switching from low intensity to high intensity. Really jumping your heart rate up and down. Then we eat a snack and take a break. I sit in the hot tub to loosen everything up. Otherwise I have found out that I will lock up in my legs and back. Then we eat lunch and get ready for our third workout of the day. Which is normally abs and core workout, which I have come to despise. Thats the one that makes people barf. After that I am completely spent. I drink a protein shake and take a 1 hour nap. Sometimes I don't even make it to my bed. The couch in the lobby of the main building knows me well now. Then after dinner we do 2 more hours of cross training and cardio.

Thats pretty much a day in my life right now. There are some cool people here. And I'm laughing a lot. And crying some too. The cramps are the worst, but they are starting to subside now that my body is getting the right food and nutrients.


Miss you all. Thanks for the prayers!

Ken

still alive!

Hey guys, haven't blogged in a couple. Its been a rough couple of days. Altitude sickness hit me really hard. But I kept working through it. It is starting to lift now, I'm not feeling so dizzy anymore. And my energy level is much better. I've been starting off every early morning workout with some puking. They are calling me "Barf". Ha ha.

Things are going great, I feel like I'm starting to get into a routine. Becoming more comfortable with what we are doing. I feel lonely at night. But God is really with me and he takes care of me.

Today during an afternoon workout I hit my wall. It was almost impossible to lift my legs or move at all. My trainer wanted me to work through it. Then I found out he wanted to wear me out to exhaustion and deal with some stuff. Its crazy, these trainers aren't just trainers, most of them have counseling degrees and really know what they are doing. Its amazing how honest you will be when you are at the brink of literally falling down. So we dug into all kinds of stuff from my childhood. Reasons why I find myself 30 and so unhealthy, and how that affects me not only physically but mentally and spiritually also. I know that I can never go back to some habits that I am now breaking. They kept me a prisoner in my own body for years. The old Ken is slowly fading and I'm pretty stoked about what God is shaping!

If I'm not working out or passed out on the floor I am reading my Bible. I feel like God is breaking me in every way. Its amazing what God will start to do when we let him deal with all the B.S. we carry around. I've got emotional stuff from childhood that I've allowed to shape me as an adult. It all has to go.

Its crazy, this journey is just starting, but I have this feeling that God is transforming me in a huge way. I guess that's what happens when your done jacking up stuff on your own. There's no where to go but up!

Tomorrow might be a little rough. We are going up to one of the tallest mountains here and going snowshoeing. The altitude is going to suck, I'm sure I will be barfing again! We are at about 6000 ft above sea level here. Tomorrow we are going another 4300 feet up. The view should be awesome though. I'm looking forward to it.

Well my massage therapist Lorenzo should be here any minute. My upper back and neck muscles have been locking up me. And I've been getting wicked cramps. I hate bananas but they keep shoving them down my throat. And I'm eating avocado now, which I've always hated.
New things right?

We are going to a comedy club tomorrow night, we are all excited bout that. And then we are going to the Salt Flats on Sunday. They say it is awesome. I'm taking my camera snowshoeing tomorrow, so I'll try and post some pics. Maybe we can get a good one of my launching my protein shake over the side of the mountain!

much love
ken out

whats the difference between a sadist and a personal trainer?

answer : trainers get paid to hurt people, sadist do it for free.

ha ha, I told that to my trainer today and earned another 10 minutes at cardio blast! They are awesome though.

So today is the end of day 2. And its weird. Cause on one hand I hurt and am very sore. My aches and pains have aches and pains. But on the other I am finding that I have more energy that I thought. Probably has a lot to do with what and how we are eating. I surprised myself today. We did a thing called cardio meltdown. Yikes. Basically you do 10 minutes on a bike, elliptical and treadmill, and every 2 minutes you increase speed and incline. Then you switch machines every 10 minutes. I thought there was no way that I was going to be able to finish. It was the most intense cardio workout I have ever done. We did a total of 60 minutes and not only did I finish, but I didnt have to stop once! I almost fell down when I was done, but I finished it. That was a win for me.

We did 4 different workouts today from cardio to weight training to hikiing. For a total workout time of 5 hours and 45 mintes. It was nuts. But heres the weird part. I am finding that I recover faster than I thought I would. And I feel very tired and sore at the end of the day, but I also feel fantastic. I am changing my life and tht feels freakin aweosme! We were Polar heart monitors all day that track our heart rate and calories burned. Today I burned about 5000 calories! That's nuts!

God has definitely shown me that he led me to the right spot. The people here are amazing. My trainer said that i did such a great job today that I deserved a massage. It was great because my neck and back muscles were on fire. I got an awesome massage by the head massage guy for the Utah Jazz. It was very good.

Tomorrow I meet with a flexibility trainer. Which means they are going to bend me and twist me like a pretzel to increase my flexibility.

I'm pooped. Going to take a nice hot shower and fall in bed.

I want to thank you all for praying for me. I can really feel all your guys prayers. There have been times when my body is shutting down and is just screaming. Thats when I can feel the prayers. God is really seeing me through this.

You guys are awesome. Thanks for the encouragement!

see ya, ken

bring the pain...

This is going to be a quick post. Mainly because I have plans to go and pass out on my bed in about 4 mins. Today was the first full day of the program. Holy nuts. There is no way someone can come here and not get into better shape. And they even went easy on me today! Thats the part that really scares me. Tomorrow starts with weight training and then 4 other workout times by the end of the day. I can barely walk and I hurt in places that I didnt know existed.

God also used today to really show me that I am in the right place. Yesterday and last night I was feeling really lonely and thinking there was no way that this is right for me. But after today I know this is where I am suppose to be for now. I think sometimes God uses our loneliness to show us that all we really have is him anyway. Maybe I needed to be reminded of that.

The staff here are amazing. They are hardcore but in a cool way. And a little sadistic too! But you can tell they have a passion and that is to help people live a healthier and more productive life.

And the food that we get to eat is amazing! I am eating the healthiest food I have ever eaten and I am loving it. Fresh fruit and salads and protein shakes, all day long. And they are educating me on how to do this for myself when I go home.

Also I have to pee like every 3o minutes. They are making me drink like 150 ounces a day of water. I feel like I'm floating! They are trying to flush me out.

Thats it for the first day. It was hard, but also amazing. I don't feel as lonely now knowing that I am being obedient.

Bring the pain baby!!!

vanwinkle out

Mormons and Germans oh my...

As I sit here icing my elbow and shoulder, I knew it would come to this. Some sort of slight injury. I started the day off with service at The Mormon Tabernacle. Their choir is ridiculous, they must have had 400 people in the choir. Very different kind of service. Cool experience.

This afternoon a couple guys from the camp and myself took the shuttle to the Solitude Ski Area. We decided to go snowboarding. Keep in mind I haven't been on a snowboard since I was a teenager. And I'm also dealing with a touch of altitude sickness, which messes with your balance. Needless to say about an hour into boarding everyone was calling me Chris Farley. I was falling all over the place! We met up with a group of Germans who were literally insane! So we joined groups up and tore up the mountain side. The Germans thought I was the funniest person they had ever met. We did some trails through woods. And I got ran over by two different ski lifts as I was trying to get off! They had to stop the whole lift, people were pissed. My guys and the Germans were falling down they were laughing so hard. Every time we would go to get on of off a lift they would get their cameras ready just in case I was going down.

I fell down so many times, and on one of the last runs as it was starting to get dark, I fell hard and torqued my elbow and shoulder. It was totally worth it though!

I had a freakin blast today with the guys from my group. And the German dudes were the craziest and loudest guys I had ever met. They said they love America! When we parted thay all hugged and kissed me. I get the idea that they are the kind of people that have experiences wherever they go. I want to live more like that. Having my own experiences instead of watching other people have theirs.

We finally ate dinner together at the bar on the slopes. It was amazing hearing stories about peoples lives from all over the world. They kicked us out of the lodge cause we were being too loud. It was awesome. I need to get kicked out of places more often. It was invigorating!

The best part is that they are here for a couple more weeks for some convention. So next Saturday we are all planning on getting together again and going on a day long snowmobile adventure way up in the mountains! You gotta throw some fun in right?

Anyway the camp doc checked me out and said I would be sore but nothing was seriously injured. Nothing some ice cant fix. By the way the doctors name is Ben Pepper. Dr Pepper!!!

Tomorrow is go time! It kicks off the first full day of the program. I'm ready!

I miss you all!
vanwinkle out!

first day jitters...

So after being on the road since Wednesday I got into Salt Lake City last night (Friday). Yesterday was awesome, I went through the Rockies in Colorado. I was driving past this place that rented snowmobiles by the hour and thought that would be fun. It had been a long time since I had been on one of those, and I forgot how fast they are! I rode the trails for almost 3 hours and it was awesome. At one point we had to stop because they were dynamite blasting for avalanches in front of us. Totally wicked. Then later I was held up for a few hours because the interstate was closed due to snow and black ice. Met some cool people hanging out at the rest area in Estes Park.

Anyway i made it into to Salt Lake City late last night. Spent the night at the camp. Its super nice here, guess it should be as much as its costing me! Today started out with assessments and testings. I met with my trainer and we discussed my goals. We will meet again Monday morning before the program gets into full swing. And then I met my small group as they call it. I am in a group with 4 other guys. We all kinda have the same goals and are in the same place physically. As a fun thing to kinda get to know each other we got to pick an outing to go on together. We chose the Living Aquarium. It was cool. Sharks and stuff, but it was even cooler to hear these guys stories.

Later we went back to the camp and they said we were going sightseeing. So we loaded up in the SUV's and took off. We wound up at a ski resort. They said we were going to ride some lifts to get to the top of the mountian. For someone who isnt too cool with heights, a series of ski lifts is terrifying. But a little while later we made it to the top of one of the tallest mountians in Utah. And as we were all taking pictures and looking at the view, our trainer tells us that on our second to last day here in 6 weeks that we will be hiking this mountian. I almost pooped and threw up at the same time! What? It took forever on the lifts to get up there. Anyway that is how people end their time at the camp. I am excited and nervous at the same time.

Tomorrow is Sunday and its a free day. Its the last day that I will be able to leave the camp on my own for the next 6 weeks. I am going to church at the Mormon Tabernacle. It is suppose to be beautiful. People here are telling me that the Mormon choir is awesome. So after that my small group and I are going to Solitude Ski Resort to do some snowboarding! I havent been snowboarding since I was 18 so this should be scary! I think I'm going to wear a diaper just in case!

Thanks for all the prayers and support! I will update tomorrow evening!
Love you all!

vanwinkle out

almost go time...

Only two more days until I'm headed out! I am just getting clothes and stuff together, preparing to be gone for 7 weeks. I am really excited but there has been some tension and negative thoughts also. Just the usual second guessing myself and thinking that I wont be able to do this.

I was sitting in church Saturday evening listening to Michael Franzese speak. And his story of transformation was inspiring. A lot of things he said were really good, but one thing he said in particular really stuck me. He said "If God leads you to it, then He will see you through it". And it got me thinking. God isn't setting me up for failure. As long as I'm obedient and give this everything I got, then I cant fail. It was just the right thing that I needed to hear at that moment.

Anyway, two more days!

vanwinkle out

heres the skinny

Ok, so here it is. Next Wednesday the 10th, I am headed to the Biggest Loser Fitness Camp in Utah. Yes thats right, I am going to fat camp! I will be spending 6 weeks there in an intensive weight loss program. Just like the tv show, just no cameras. I will be blogging while I am there to journal my trip and also let you all know whats happening.

I am very excited about where God has led me to. I lost my dad to heart disease this past summer. He was 48 years old when he passed. And God has really used his death to get my attention about my weight and health. I had some testing done a couple weeks ago and there was bad news and good news. The bad news is that I am close to having serious health issues that come with being obese. The good news is that my heart is currently in good shape and that I have one last chance to make a change. I am doing this to save my life. My weight has affected me my entire life. And as I am getting older (30 now) it is affecting my energy level and attitude and everything.

Anyway my goals in doing this is to change my life. It will be the hardest thing physically and mentally that I have ever done. Also I can't remember that last time I have been this excited!

Its funny, I have heard some people say God called them to live in a certain place or to a certain ministry. God has called me to fat camp! How nuts is that?

So thats where I am at. We are at T minus 6 days until I begin my Saffatical. I appreciate all your thoughts and prayers while I go through this journey!


vanwinkle out